Disabled

How do we get to this point in our lives where we become so disabled? I'm not talking about physical disabilities, but mindsets.

Today I had a great time to get outside and walk. I set out with a goal to walk for an hour. I hadn't even gotten half way through this hour and I'm already thinking, its too hard, I can't do it. Thoughts are racing about how I just want to stop and turn around.

It really got me to thinking about how disabled my thinking and actions have become. I live in this mindset of not being able to do something, mostly influenced by the media, that I know physically can be done. I am so tired of this awful weight of disability. I'm not saying that I am going to become "Miss Independent" - Do it no matter what or "Napolean" - Take over the world at all costs... I am just saying that I don't want to live with this disability any more. I want to live life to the full that God has promised. I love the feeling, knowing that God loves me, no matter what. I hate the feeling that I don't love myself, no matter what.

Why do we tell ourselves we can't have the things we want? During one of my quiet times this weekend I was reading Jeremiah 29 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. We have basically taken ourselves captive and Jesus wants to set us free. Why do we hold so dearly to captivity? I WANT TO BE FREE!

Just to let you know, I didn't give up on my walk. I did go for an hour. I was so very tired, hot, thirsty and hurting when I got home, but I felt so vendicated. I didn't let Satan take over. I found strength to keep going and it was awesome!